This erotic carp calendar is a real thing you can buy

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    Where to start? Now we know people enjoy fishing, and people also enjoy looking at naked ladies, but putting the two together is just plain wrong.

    Not to mention pretty unpleasant for the poor women forced to cuddle up to a cold scaly fish.

    This niche calendar retails for €18.95 (£23.26) from German purveyors of carp equipment Carponizer, and comes with a description which roughly translates as:

    ‘During the shoot greatest emphasis was placed on the well-being of carp and cute women. Who hereby can not make friends, we recommend the fish fingers calendar, where everything is hidden under a crispy breading. The Carponizer carp Calendar is a treat for the men’s heart beat faster. * High quality offset printing refined with Varnish * 12 nice pictures to look at * 30 x 42 cm * unique in the quality of the recordings !! * Spiral bound * Angel Calendar’.

    God only knows what’s in the fish finger calendar.