People Expose The Funniest Thing Someone Has Said To Them During Sex

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    Step 1. Have sex. Step 2. Find someone who will say something funny after step 1!

    A friend of mine told a girl she reminded him of the girl from the goofy movie, that was followed up with (what I am told) was a terrible goofy laugh from the chick. They are married now. Weirdoes’….

    These people exposed the funniest things someone said to them after sex on Reddit.

    She lifted up her semen covered hand and yelled “high five!” in her best Borat voice.

    Right when my wife was climaxing she suddenly yells “I Fuckin’ love you dude!” I just started dying from laughter because it was so out of character for her. It was the only time in 11 years I have even heard her say the word “dude”. She still gets embarrassed when I bring it up.

    She says ” I’m gonna fuck you hard ” in what i can only describe as the female version of Christian Bales Batman voice. I was so confused ….

    “Look, I’m a porn star.” Grabs my penis and smacks it on tongue.

    That lamp is making your cock cast a 12 foot shadow on the window blinds – the neighbours will be impressed

    She was on top and I came really hard, letting out an audible and enthusiastic “Woohoo!” She got up, laughing hysterically. Later, when I was going down on her, she, in solidarity I suppose, also said “Woohoo” as she came.

    “Feel my big thing enter you”. English is not his first language. I laughed so hard. He’s my husband now and it took years to get him to dirty talk to me again. He’s a pro at it now!

    “Oh shit my dad’s home! Finish in the closet! Quick!”

    “You like that you saucy biscuit?”

    “This snake is very dangerous and may attack at any time… we must deal with it”

    “Mmm. Chrissy, that feels so good!” Chrissy was her own name.

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    “Your tap is leaking but fear not, the plumber is here.”

    “Fuck my mouth, like I’m a blow up doll bitch.”

    After the first time having sex with my ex-boyfriend I was chilling in his bed when he sidled up to me and said in a (what I assume was meant to be) sexy voice and said “Should we play another game of… hide the pickle?”

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    While having sex with a girl while she was on her period whose first language is not English, I suggested we stop because the bed looked like a murder scene. With me still inside of her she turned her head around and looked me square in the eyes and said, it’s okay I’m vampire.

    Happened to a friend of mine, but the guy was on top and was asking her where she wanted him to cum. She said she didn’t know so his response was “What? Do you want me to cum in your purse so you can take that shit home with you?” She lost it and they had to stop.

    My ex started talking dirty to me in harley quinns voice. Harley Quinn from the 90’s cartoon. She apparently had been practicing the voice because she wanted to be Harley Quinn for Halloween. “Do you like that mister J.” And “Do you want to me to suck your dick, pudding?” I am ashamed of how much it turned me on.

    My ex and I would try and quote movies to each other during. I only got her real good when I whispered to her “this is my swamp now”

    After a minute of doing butt stuff… “did you eat something spicy yesterday?” “yeah, why?”

    “my dick’s on fire!”